2019: Retrospectives, Resolutions and My New Watch

Several years ago I was a huge fan of New Year goals and resolutions. At the end of January, I liked to write down a list of my “achievements” and set new goals for the upcoming year – one more challenging than the other. I was convinced that it will keep me motivated throughout the year and that it is an important part of the self-development process. Some time ago I completely changed my attitude towards this practice, I realized that it is not only ineffective but could also be harmful. In this post, I will try to explain why.

Retrospectives (achievements)

My Social media feeds on the 31st of December were full of “achievements” that my friends shared on their pages. I think many people use this opportunity to brag and even a tiny achievement (and sometimes even a failure) is described as something grandiose. “Over the past year I changed 5 companies” – writes one of my friends and it seems that she is full of pride. Hmmm, isn’t it usually a sign of weakness or inability to solve the problems?

I had a look at this post, for example, which I wrote several years ago. Now when reading it I realize that it is full of narcissism and egomania. “Look at me how great I am and I will become even greater in the new year ” is a short summary of this post.

If you describe in your achievements that over the past year you have improved your image, financial situation, career and relationship you just feed yourself with illusions. If you really have done something important, most probably you wouldn’t need to talk about it.

All those diaries, where people write down their “successes” and tick the goals is nothing more than putting crowns on their heads. And the purpose of such crown is to prove to themselves and to the others that nothingness is not nothingness, but an important step in self-development. At the end of the year when we look back we realize how much time we wasted so all those “achievements” help us to persuade ourselves that in fact, the year was full of important accomplishments.

This year I decided to follow a different principle. Doing things, instead of putting intentions, making a hustle, instead of wasting time writing retrospectives. Taking steps, without sharing them with anyone.

When you describe what you do, even if it is just your notebook, and especially if you do it in public, you are tempted to exaggerate, embellish, and “photoshop” whatever you do. I don’t want to hide in illusions – I want real achievements, instead of likes and sugary comments.

Plans and resolutions

If good self-reflection allows some people to realistically evaluate their past, when it comes to future and building plans, many of us often lose connection with reality. The illusion of controlling the universe creates false psychological settings. Some people seriously believe in the power of visualization, which is more or less the same as believing in Santa Clause. The concept is simple – it is enough to imagine in little details your wish and universe will bring it to you on the golden dish.

To make it even easier some people create so-called “visual boards” and glue on them Ferraris and multi-million villas. With a salary of 1k euro per month, it makes me only wonder how they imagine these visuals will come true (that probably explains long queues to buy lottery tickets in Spain).

This is also another reason why so many people put themselves in debts in pursuit of unrealistic goals. Buying in credit new iPhone and paying a whole year for it, taking a mortgage for a huge house and trying to get free of it the whole life, or leasing a new luxury car which they can’t afford.

I used to set unrealistic goals for myself – double my income in one month, going to the gym every day, travel 10 destinations a year. When I was not able to achieve them I always felt frustrated instead of feeling motivated and driven. I felt like I am not pushing hard enough, or don’t have enough intelligence and abilities to achieve them. Even if I was able to go to the gym twice a week (which is already a good result compared to zero), I perceived it as a failure.

Nowadays I stopped putting any long-term goals. I create a plan of what I need to do weekly and daily and try to do a maximum of it. If some of the things are postponed till next week I don’t get frustrated or upset as I used to be before. Being modest in evaluating your abilities is the best way of combating stress and anxiety.

About time

As a New Year gift, I got this beautiful watch from Adexe. I think this is the perfect present which you can get for yourself or your loved ones (check out their amazing collections and get 15% discount with this special code LESSENZIALE15).

Why watch? Because time could be our worst enemy and our best friend, depending on how we approach it.

When I am old, I don’t want to look back and see that instead of being present and positive, enjoying simple things and joy of living I was trying to achieve unrealistic goals or digging in the past and lamenting on how little I have accomplished.

Happy New Year, my friends!