How To Deal With Negative People That Sabotage Your Success
Starting an interior design business on your own is hard and stressful: you have to get lots of professional knowledge, you need to overcome the fear of self-promotion, find new clients, get the payment and finally, you need to handle your own doubts and frustrations.
On the top of that, I am sure many of you have faced the situations when you had to deal with negative people that sabotaged your ideas and your desire to succeed.
When I just started my interior design business, I had no experience in that field, my portfolio was empty and I had zero clients. I already felt very vulnerable and I had no illusions. I realized that I need to work really hard in order to achieve something but I really wanted to give it a try. At the same time, I had to face lots of pressure from my family members who were convincing me to get back to a corporate job and stable salary. Wishing me good they actually sabotaged my ideas. At this stage, for every little achievement, I got lots of criticism. At times I felt very upset, annoyed and angry. I had to learn how to deal with negativity coming from other people and in today’s post, I want to share my experience and my observations.
Why are people so negative?
First of all, you need to understand why another person is so negative about your passion and your desire to be a successful entrepreneur. Frequently this happens because they project on you their own fears and believes. For example, they feel much more comfortable working for somebody else and getting fixed salary every month. They don’t need to bother where to find new projects, negotiate with clients or chase them after for the payment. They believe that this is the best way to live.
Or they have tried to start their own business and they failed and now they think that you will fail as well. They can say something like “you need money and connections to become successful”, “business ownership is for rich”, etc.
Also, other people might feel jealous, that you have the guts to start something on your own. Maybe it is something that they always secretly wished but never had the courage to try. Whatever is the reason for their negativity, when it to comes to business it is better to discuss it with likeminded people – entrepreneurs and business owners.
How to deal with negative people: action steps
Stop sharing your ideas or concerns about your business left and right. I have noticed that many people when they start their business start to talk a lot about it: with their family, friends, sometimes even with people they hardly know! This happens because they need external approval in order to get rid of their own fears. But if we look closer into it: can your best friend, who has never worked in her life give you the best advice when it comes to running your own business? I doubt so. So stop asking her. If you need an advise search it from knowledgeable competent people who have done something similar and who have achieved success!
You need to become self-sufficient and have your own opinion about your abilities. That’s what we call good self-esteem. If someone says “you are a bad designer”, this shouldn’t affect what you think about yourself. You need to know your strengths and weakness and work on them. Track your development by not comparing yourself to others but by comparing yourself to yourself – one year ago. Comparing to last year, do you get more clients, more money, more press and media exposure? If the answer is yes you are on the right track and the only thing you need to do is to keep working hard.
For the same reason, I don’t pay attention to any negative comments about my work. If my project was published in several magazines, if my client is happy, if I got well paid for it – I don’t care what other people think. We can’t please everybody, especially with such personal thing as interior design.
Unwanted feedback
But what if you didn’t ask for advice or feedback, but somebody just gave you some negative comments? The best way to react is to simply ignore it. When someone gives you unwanted feedback he is basically trying to break borders of your private territory: it doesn’t belong to him but he is still trying to enter. By doing so this person is wasting energy. If you are reacting to this by replying, justifying your ideas or saying something negative in return you are wasting your energy as well. If you don’t react, you are actually accumulating it. Let negative people nurture not drain you.
I am really curious to hear about your experience – have you been in similar situations? How did you deal with it? Please share in the comments below.
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